The redevelopment of Achmore harbour
I'm amused. Very amused. By a politician, no less. But not because one of the electioneering local candidates has suddenly developed the stand-up skills of Eddie Izzard, or has come up with the perfect razor-sharp one-liner put-downs worthy of one of the charismatic US political greats. No - it's a gaffe, and it's a big one. It's a foot-shooting of immense proportions, and, as I recently twittered to a mate of mine, it's priceless - and for everything else there's Mastercard. And I hope that the deposit has been put on Mastercard, because it's not coming back. Now, I'm not usually one for political commentary, least of all during an election year where all the political parties seem to want to better each other with the inane drivel they come up with in order to con the electorate into putting them into office, only to renague on their never-meant pre-election promises, and go about what they wanted to do in the first place, which was to line their pockets with our money. However, I couldn't pass up the opportunity, given recent comments to a local newspaper hack by the Conservative Party candidate for the Western Isles. To give you a little background to the Western Isles political landscape, the seat has never, to my knowledge, been won by a Conservative candidate, to the extent that no-one wanted to represent the Tory Party in the forthcoming General Election. So a candidate was 'parachuted in' to fight the seat. And it's obvious that even the most deluded bigwigs at Central Office don't think that they've got a snowball's chance in hell, given that their candidate, Sheena Norquay, a former researcher for Conservative MP Alex Johnson, is 22 years old, and hasn't yet graduated from St Andrew’s university, where she's reading for a Masters degree in International Studies. Although the student candidate is alleged to have roots on the island, having 'spent many of her childhood holidays on Lewis' with her mother, and 'with most of her extended family living locally', the Aberdeenshire youngster, it seems, has yet to grasp which local issues matter to Lewisians, and which are just the locals making fun with politicians such as she. Now I don't think of myself as bit 'a local' in the least sense of the word, being an 'incomer' and having merely lived here for six or seven years, but I know enough to know that landlocked Achmore, at about 1000ft is the highest point on Lewis and where the main terrestrial TV transmitter mast is sited, and is also about as far from the sea as you can get on the island. It seems that it has long been a bit of a local wheeze to ask political candidates about the supposed state of Achmore pier to test their local knowledge, all the while sniggering into one's peat-blackened hand, and most have had the nouse to understand that they're having their leg pulled. Ms Norquay recently told the local paper, the Stornoway Gazette, "...I would like to think I have a keen awareness of the political issues that really matter to communities across the Isles." Yes, Ms Norquay, of course you do, as would we, given that you've been parachuted in to potentially become our Parliamentary representative. But, when a local journalist telephoned her recently about her opinions on what she saw as the main priorities for the Western Isles were, she allegedly proffered that, bizarrely, 'developing the port of Achmore, and building a harbour wall' was top of her agenda. However, to compound the issue, it seems that she didn't realise her mistake, and continued that fisheries were one of her main priorities, and that she supported the Achmore port redevlopment. How the journalist kept his composure is testiment to his professionalism. It was only when Ms Norquay was asked about the location of the harbour development that the penny must have dropped, and she 'had to rush off urgently to answer another phone call', and has been unavailable for comment over the phone ever since, although she has promised to answer written questions via email, it is alleged, doubtless giving someone who actually does have 'a keen awareness of the political issues that really matter to communities across the Isles' a chance to vet her answers before she digs herself into the hole any further. So that's the Tories chances on Lewis scuppered for for yet another General Election, then. But you to have sympathise for the poor wee girl. Not because you share her political views, but because she was so up against it without a hope, and that she's just made a no-win situation worse. And yet, with attitudes towards politicians at an all-time low, following the seemingly endless MP's expenses saga, you have to marvel at her naivete at stepping into the political arena on an island where she hasn't got a 'scooby'. Perhaps she shouldn't have let her credulous ambition get in the way of the cold hard facts of local politics.
